Hey, listen, we'll sort something out. We've been patrolled before, right? Listen, it's been years now right? You seem upset and I hate that. Don't be. Try not to be. I keep trying to reassure, but I feel like I'm falling flat. Will you take this flower? I know you're strong. I know you're fragile. You are both - ...and she breaks... but listen, even if we do have to wait, so we wait.
Also, remember, I always find a way to you, don't forget. How many times have they put us at opposite ends (of everything - the house, the table, the country, the ocean, everything,) and you must notice that I always find a way to be next to you. I know you do because our feet always touch and I always bump my knee against yours.
I want you to come - try to come. Do what you can. It's not fair that .... is being. What ... is saying is no more than an excuse and while I don't blame, it's jealousy, but we are careful and you have made your peace with his... and that is all. To have something entirely your own is fair. You are right in that. This is why you feel no guilt. Nor should you. It's a double-standard (which I did warn you of, and I'm not saying I told you so - truth is, cousin, we should have just married and moved to Morocco - in our faith, first cousins can marry - it's even written. On top of that, I'd get to make love to you every Friday; I'd have to! That and more!
Really - listen, you were crying on the phone and I hate that. Don't cry. We'll sort it out.
Go blow your nose. Make some herbal tea. Have something soothing from our "B" spoon, I'll do the same and I know it's not the same, but at least we'll be tasting the same thing. At least I'll know what your mouth would taste like right now, and that is good.
For the record, by the way, yes, I do remember leaving you trempee (I'm not in the least sorry). I remember long afternoons stealing off to the orchard with you and lifting your summer slip - surely you haven't forgotten that, have you? Do you remember your branch in the pear tree? It was 'yours' since you were little. You climbed it and straddled it for as long as I could remember, taking with you a basket of raspberries that you picked. You rocked and rocked until the bark was smooth. You rocked that bark between your legs so innocently, so sweetly, not even knowing. Sweet. Don't forget how sweet you are. Don't let... take away that sweetness. Don't be angry or bitter. We'll be together. Write here. Write a lot. I'll write a lot too.
How is the research coming? Is the lab a mess? Any breakthroughs? I meant to tell you, I miss your hands - they are so soft. Did you ever notice we have exactly the same hands and feet? Of course you did. You don't miss a trick, unlike me - i miss everything, especially you.
of course, yours - Abner
